Thoughts on Art

Today I had an almost irresistible urge to go buy oil paints and make a painting.  It seems to be everywhere I look these days.

I find myself in a place longing for stretches of time without anything to do, no one to talk to, and no agenda.  That is not to say I would be a loaf during that time.  I would be very busy and unavailable.  But to others' minds I would probably be loafing.

I miss painting.  I miss art.  Sometimes I think of all the art I could make during the day if the kids were in school. This post by a fellow blogger at the Well-Trained Mind forums only intensified the feeling.  I am constantly reminding myself that the days ordained for me were written in His book before one of them came to be, and I have made the choices I have because I'm answering a call, not because it's the easy path.  Even so, I feel this longing sometimes. 

Meanwhile, my son is growing in his abilities with art.  He brought home this painting today from art class, and I'm really pleased with how he persisted and finished so well.  Good job, Matty!

Wordless Wednesday: Look, here's some more, Charlotte...

Week 15 in Review

So we were supposed to roll back into things, get back to work, be productive, and we were--to a certain extent.  I found that the kids would likely have cooperated with anything I put before them, if only I could get them out of bed!  The Christmas vacation had us on a late-to-bed, late-to-rise routine.  All of us seemed to want to keep that this week, and we were all very sluggish in the mornings, until finally I just started waking them up on Thursday and Friday.  I don't regret our holiday.  It was full of restful play, reading, play, reading, sleeping, and more play and more reading.  But the downside is that it is such a pleasant state, it is difficult to break out of that routine...or should we?  Yes, I suppose we should.  I was the one reading...the kids played a LOT of Wii. 

The main goal of the week was to get us thinking about school stuff again...math, reading, CC memory work--mainly greasing the axles and getting them going.  Both did great with all that was required of them, even if we weren't exactly efficient or timely in getting it done.  Matty finished The Hobbit over break and decided he really wants to try reading Lord of the Rings.  I obliged and got him the books, but made him promise that he would not feel discouraged if he couldn't tackle it all right now.  He promised.  We'll see how it goes. 

So far, so good. We have completed week one of our second term in the deep midwinter.

I Don't Care Which Way You Lean, This is Funny...

Wordless Wednesday: Playing with my New Camera

Fear--or, Why Didn't I Realize this Before?

There have been so many times in the past five years of homeschooling that I have been gripped by fears about the decision.  Not just passing concerns, but true fear--the kind of fear that makes my stomach seize up and makes me feel like I want to be sick, go to bed, and just commit my kids to the big yellow bus to take them where it may.  The fears have ranged from everything from not knowing how to teach my kids what they need to know, not knowing how to teach a kid to read, not knowing how to plan a schedule and stick to it, not knowing how to fit everything in to a 24-hour period and still feed the family, not knowing how all this is going to turn out in the end, to the ultimate fear...am I ruining them?  What if I'm totally screwing them up?  I look at this list and see all the times I haven't known how. 

There's an old hymn that we used to sing when I was a kid that says:

"But I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that he is able
To keep that which I've committed unto Him against that day..."

(I realize this is pretty much straight from scripture, but I always think of the tune) The thing is that God has called me to this.  Of that I am sure.  I have committed this venture and the lives of my children to him.  How can I doubt that he will faithfully care for me in the process?  He didn't call me to know how, he just asks for my obedience.  He knows how to get this done, and he knows the future of my children.  Since he is the One who knows, I need only ask him what they need for each day, and he will provide for the education of my children.  I have to believe that he has asked me to do what is best for them, and that means that I am not ruining them.

As I talked to a friend today about these fears it occurred to me, "what fear is there in having your children with you, learning and growing?"  On the contrary, it should be more fear-inducing to send them out into the world as young as we do.  Fear is not of God, so it can only come from one place.  And all this time I thought it was my problem--feelings of inadequacy and what-not.  Humph.  Not so much.  Why didn't I realize this before?