"Deliver me and rescue me from the hands of foreigners whose mouths are full of lies, whose right hands are deceitful.
Then our sons in their youth will be like well-nurtured plants, and our daughters will be like pillars carved to adorn a palace."
Throughout the nine years that we have been homeschooling, I have prayed continually and fervently for the Lord's guidance, wisdom and provision. God has answered my prayers 100% of the time, with clarity and peace. He has never left me in the dark concerning the next step, which curriculum I should choose or what decisions I should make about staying home vs. going to a brick and mortar institution. He has communicated his answers to me through that deep inner peace that cannot be explained in human language. Every time I have come to a point of feeling anxious, wondering if I was doing okay by my kids or comparing myself to other moms who have the appearance of having it all together, I have been comforted and reassured, and even chastised by his constancy.
On Wednesday morning during my quiet time I found myself again with my head in my hands earnestly seeking the Lord's heart for what he would have me do next year for my son, who will start high school in the fall. I asked him to show me clearly what I should do. I was feeling weary and stressed and wondered if I would be able to get through the next couple of days, as it felt like my calendar was all backed up with no margin--a place I never like to be, but often find myself.
My son woke with a cold that morning, and by that evening I could see that the calendar would need to be cleared so as to care for him, rest, and allow us all to recover, as we all seem to be fighting something. Thursday came without much to do, then, so I sat down and started reading about homeschooling through high school. Within a couple of hours I had a tremendous sense of relief. A plan had emerged, and it was very clear to me what course of action I should pursue to get the boy through his freshman year of high school studies. Even better, it became apparent that at the end of this academic cycle, he will already have completed most of the things typically covered in 9th grade and he will start with 10th grade material.
Today, as I have battled my own headache and sore throat, I have had the luxury of time and headspace to think through decisions for next year, talk things over with my husband who ended up taking leave today to work on taxes, and discuss scheduling with my friend who will co-op with me on various subjects.
I can hear the Lord, in His quiet way, speaking to my heart... "Have I ever steered you wrong?"
"Do not fear for I am with you, Do not be dismayed for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand..."
It occurs to me that my God entrusted these precious children to my care for this season. Incredibly, He loves them more than I do or could even hope to, in spite of the fact that my love for them often brings me to tears and leaves me feeling utterly undone. Why, when He loves them as he does, would he guide me in a way that would be contrary to their best interest or their God-given nature?
So here we go! We will take the plunge into the rhetoric stage years with God as my guide. Stay tuned. We'll be live-blogging the journey!